I got married to my husband in 2015. I was still working full-time in the classroom at that time, and was also working on my PhD. I honestly don't even know how I had time to date anyone, much less decide to get married!! I swear half our dates were like "hey come over and help me cut out all this stuff I laminated" or "wanna go to the PTA carnival with me (and get put to work haha). He was definitely my teacher side-kick.
Everything went awesome until our honeymoon. By the fifth day, I was in tears, had gone out for solo coffee, and was on the phone with my best friend Carri, who also happens to be an expert in counseling.
The conversation went something like this:
Me: Carri, I can't do this! Like...I think I've made a mistake. I had no idea...
A few weeks ago I shared with my email list that when I was a teacher I went to work sick a lot. As someone with an autoimmune disease, I was rarely contagious, but I could never find a sub. I worked with deaf and hard of hearing students and subs were really intimidated by accepting jobs in a classroom where they couldn't communicate with the students directly.
If I had to be out, I always felt what I thought was "guilt". I couldn't take a physical or mental health day without feeling like a bad teacher that was letting down my students and my co-teacher.
What I was feeling was not actually guilt, so let's talk about what guilt is.
Emotions, in general, exist to give us information about what happening in our world. For example, anger tells us that injustice is happening, sadness tells us we're experiencing a loss of some kind, and fear tells us we're in danger. So what does guilt tell us?
It tells us that we've done something wrong that we need to make amends for.
So let's think...
When I was a kid I remember looking forward to elections. I loved seeing the signs outside and the watching the debates. And my favorite thing was that I got to vote at school. I vividly remember voting during the 1996 Clinton-Dole election. We got to color our ballots and everything! Then there was a super secret voting booth (probably a refrigerator box) where we cast our ballots.
That's what I remember about elections growing up.
Wow how things have changed...
Young children should not bear the burden of worrying about how the results of the Presidential election threaten their safety and security.
In a perfect world, children would not have access to information that makes them feel unsafe and insecure. They would be buffered and surrounded with fluffy clouds and rainbows. But we don't live in a perfect world....
If you talk to anyone that knows me on a personal level really well, they will tell you I am all. about. boundaries (insert that clapping emoji for emphasis).
I lived a good chunk of my life without boundaries and when I discovered the power boundaries had to help me shape interactions and develop relationships in the way I wanted, I dove in head first.
In case you haven't had the same experience with boundaries that I have, let's talk really quick about what they are and how they benefit us as individuals.
Boundaries are limits on what we deem acceptable and welcomed in a variety of different areas of our lives. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of boundaries, a great place to start is a book called Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. I highly recommend it for literally everyone. You can grab your copy here through my affiliate link (which supports the creation of content like this).
In this post, I want to focus in on personal boundaries. Personal...
Because we respect you and only want to show up in the inboxes of those who consent, you'll receive an email in your inbox to confirm you want to receive our newsletter.